By Josh Smith
Anchor / WJHL
Published: June 15, 2009

Any abuse of one person by another person is sad.  But in some cases, it’s sickening.

You’re probably like me, unable to stomach some of the news stories about adults who hurt little kids.  Today, my blood boiled about a different kind of crime involving a victim who is often defenseless: elder abuse.

Today (Monday, June 15th) is Elder Abuse Awareness Day in Tennessee.    The state’s point person on such matters told the Associated Press that almost 6,000 elderly Tennesseans were abused in 2008.  That number represented a 40% increase in the past six years.

Huh?

While some who break the law are brazen, fearless, and wreckless, I’m convinced that many crooks are cowards.  They hurt others, often the young or the old, out of a subconscious craving to feel better about themselves.  Haunted by feelings of inadequacy and weakness, they seek to be made strong by dominating and controlling someone else - even a child or an elderly person - who is weak.

Please don’t misunderstand.  I’m not making excuses for the cowardly perpetrators.  I’m simply doing my best to explain how this can happen.  Because that’s what we all ask isn’t it? How can this happen?  Who in their right mind would hurt someone’s child or someone’s grandparent?  The answer is: no one in their right mind.  The state of mind is the problem, isn’t it?  The unseen demons that keep us from being as good as I think we were created to be.

A year before he died, I began to question the motives of my late grandfather’s neighbor.  Something just didn’t feel right about the constant acts of kindness, the hovering presence despite the almost constant flow of family through his home.  So when things in his house began to disappear, items that were the neighbor’s “favorites” and offered as a gift of thanks, I began to ask questions.  Then, I put my foot down.  It got ugly.  I got mad.  My grandfather felt I was over-reacting.  The whole thing made me feel sick.

I share my experience to make this point: watch out for the ones you love - especially the ones who may not be able to defend themselves against.  Get in their business.  Ask questions of and about the people who give them care or try to give them care.  And if that someone bucks you, fight back.  Don’t be afraid to look the fool.  Don’t tell yourself you’re “over-reacting” and don’t let someone else tell you that either.  That gut feeling that’s something just isn’t right might just be the nudge that can mean the difference between “golden years” and a time tarnished by pain.